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feature
Things cyclists hate July 201818 things that cyclists hate — duff rides you should try and avoid
We love cycling. No, we really love cycling, and we like to dwell on the positive whenever possible. But sometimes, just sometimes, it can be – what’s the word? – challenging.
Here are 18 things that we reckon every cyclist hates. Do you agree?
1 Clicking down a gear, only to find out you’re already in the lowest gear
That’s bad. Really bad.
2 Thinking you’re at the top of the hill, then discovering you aren’t
What, there’s more? How much more? Oh no!
3 The bonk
Blowing up, the hunger knock, hitting the wall… When you’re out of energy, it feels like the end of the world.
4 Creaks and squeaks
Is it the headset? The bottom bracket? The saddle rails? Your knees?
You can sometimes go around the whole bike systematically eliminating each individual component as the source of a mysterious noise until there are none left. And it still bloody creaks.
5 Red traffic lights
They’re especially bad if they’re at the bottom of a hill. All that momentum gone in a flash. Grrr!
6 Cold fingers
Still, it’s not as bad as the feeling of cold fingers coming back to life. That’s pure evil.
7 Punctures
It goes without saying, really.
8 You attack as hard as you can, check over your shoulder to see how much of a gap you have… and they’re still on your wheel
Bollocks.
9 Forgetting you’re clipped in until it’s too late
Don’t even try to make out it didn’t hurt. You’re fooling no one.
10 Your light goes out
You knew you should have recharged it, didn’t you?
11 It starts to rain the moment you put your kit on
You had nice weather all morning too. Also, while we’re at it: needing to use the toilet as soon as you put your bibs on.
12 Putting on wet kit for your commute home
It rained on the way into work this morning and the seatpad is still soggy. Urgh!
13 Unacknowledged waves
You wave or nod at a cyclist coming the other way and they don’t do it back. Rude!
14 Tyre sidewall splitting
The first you feel is a strange knocking coming from either the fork or the chainstays. If you’re really unlucky, within a few seconds you’ll hear a sound like a gunshot. That’s the inner tube exploding. Now you’re in trouble.
15 Getting dropped
From beginner to World Champion, it hurts just the same.
16 Running out of drink
This usually happens when you’re in the back of beyond, rarely when there’s a service station just around the corner.
17 The turbo
A lot of us do it, but only as a means to an end. You put up with the short-term pain for the long-term fitness gains. But you know there are some lunatics who actually enjoy it?
18 Getting caught in the rain
This usually happens just after you’ve cleaned your bike, when you’re wearing a white jersey, or on the day you forgot your waterproof. Or all three.
Over to you. What did we miss? Don’t hold back now!
Mat has been in cycling media since 1996, on titles including BikeRadar, Total Bike, Total Mountain Bike, What Mountain Bike and Mountain Biking UK, and he has been editor of 220 Triathlon and Cycling Plus. Mat has been road.cc technical editor for over a decade, testing bikes, fettling the latest kit, and trying out the most up-to-the-minute clothing. He has won his category in Ironman UK 70.3 and finished on the podium in both marathons he has run. Mat is a Cambridge graduate who did a post-grad in magazine journalism, and he is a winner of the Cycling Media Award for Specialist Online Writer. Now over 50, he's riding road and gravel bikes most days for fun and fitness rather than training for competitions.
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140 comments
On your left...PLEASE!
Curry on a Saturday evening
Anything spicy on a Saturday evening..
That feeling you get when you notice that the car overtaking you is indicating left
One that everybody has missed so far:
Except manually adding the distance onto Strava...
Auto Pause is your friend
only stop when you've finished for the day, and use strava's cropping feature.
"8. You attack as hard as you can, check over your shoulder to see how much of a gap you have… and they’re still on your wheel"
Never, ever look back, also don't "attack" just make it seem like your natural pace and that everything is a serene pootle even if inside you are absolutely on the limit. Looking back makes it look like you're trying which is a no-no. Wait for a bend in the road or a turn to have a peripheral look, do not move that head even slightly.
in any case if somone comes past you, so what, in fact I expect to be passed every time I'm out.
I do find it hilarious though when someone clearly trying comes past (and say nowt) only to drop about 20-30 metres in front and not get any further ahead, I've even eased off sometimes because I was catching them back up with no extra effort so I didn't want to seem like I was actually trying to do so, I just can't be arsed.
Drink too warm, either man the fuck up and simply drink it or prepare in advance, freeze one of your bottle/drinks and by time you're needing it as the second bottle it'll be defrosted to a cold drink,if it's hot enough to make your drinks warm.
I often just take a fiver out for a pint in the pub when I'm about 7 miles from home on a w/e ride, don't even take the house key sometimes, not bothered about taking a phone either and hardly bother with a computer anymore.
Not stressing about how fast/not fast you're going and just letting your body do the talking is how I prefer it, sure I'll check the data after the event if pop the GPS logger on but I'm really not that fussed for those type of rides anymore. Just use a computer for my utility bikes so I know timings for appointments/how far I've got to go to a specific destination.
I don't even hate punctures, haven't had one for a while so if one comes up I consider it a blessing because then I generally know it'll be a fair while til my next one and not having to think about it for a while.
Excellent post !
Crappy English road surfaces. Have me howling with rage on frequent occasions, particularly seeing as I do pay ROAD TAX on three cars...
yep, particularly when it’s an amazing route or road, ruined by its horrendous condition! Makes me very sad / angry
yep, particularly when it’s an amazing route or road, ruined by its horrendous condition! Makes me very sad / angry
yep, particularly when it’s an amazing route or road, ruined by its horrendous condition! Makes me very sad / angry
1. Valbrona
All true except
17. I kind of enjoy turbo now due to Zwift
18. Kind of feels epic when its on the way home and you are on a good day
"18 things that cyclists hate" - just to be clear, here, but are we talking about Real Proper Cyclists or just about people who use bicycles to get about in their daily life?
we are all cyclists... and most of the time ,people who use bicycles to get about in their daily life are the real proper cyclists...
Yep, I prefer to go out in the crappiest weather than ride my bluddy trainer
Black ice
(as discovered by the missus this morning coming back from the school run) /ouch
Me too, mine was navigating the chicane around the office car park barrier. Nothing damaged but pride. Security guards have it on CCTV.
It was my second "off" this week - I have some minor road rash from an argument with Manchester's tram lines on tuesday morning.
People riding bikes on shared use paths/cycle lanes without lights, dressed in black. Usually on full-sus BSOs with the saddle way too low.
yeah that always stick to the right too!!!!!!
Two things:
1. You've checked the weather, the sky is blue (or at least it doesn't look like it's going to rain and you've even checked the forecast on 3 weather apps and they all show no rain). You put your kit on, make the bike ready, looking forward to a nice ride. As soon as you open the door it's raining!
2. Pedestrians/joggers/dog walkers on bike lanes - they have no awareness of bikes and so make dangerous moves from left to right/right to left. They wouldn't do this on a street with cars!
(3. I really hate punctures, they interrupt my ride and I have to do irritating work to mend them. I perceive them as a very personal insult, a mental attack).
(3.a. The new bike pump takes 2000 strokes to pump the bloody tube to 2 bars)
(4. Being overtaken and not being able to follow the wheel of the 'idiot'. Another insult and mental attack!)
(5. Really upsetting when the bike computer stops working mid-ride, the navigation doesn't work (that was only a problem until I sold my Garmin Edge 1000!!!) or you forget to start the device from the beginning of your ride!)
(6. Car drivers berating you (honking the horn, pointing fingers, giving you the fist etc ) for not using the bike lane even when there is plenty of space on the road. Taking the road is often necessary due to poorly maintained tarmac/potholes on the bike lanes or you ride during 'dog-walking hours') so they are packed with pedestrians and joggers listening to loud music)
(7. Your phone starts ringing during a pleasant ride. Or you see the notification on your bike computer that your wife/kids are calling, sms'ing or your boss sends an e-mail. You don't want to stop and worry the for the rest of your ride: was that something important?)
(8. It a hot summers day - the water in your second bidon is now very warm and impossible to drink and you are very thirsty)
(9. Having to clean a very dirty bike after getting caught in heavy rain)
You've all got it wrong, ride the turbo/rollerers and you don't suffer any of the above. I only go out on the road to keep fit for the turbo.
Old recycled articles on cycling websites.
Old recycled comments on recycled articles.
Headwinds on long flat roads
Contraflows - usually uphill - when it's impossible to get through while the lights are green.
First ride on a new bike and inevitably it rains and makes the bike dirty.
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