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Cyclists are “idiots waging war on normality” – Jeremy Clarkson

The presenter has taken to two wheels to engage in the odd skirmish himself before now

Say what you like about Jeremy Clarkson, he knows his audience and he knows his brand. Today’s Sun column does more than just flirt with self-parody as he takes aim at cyclists.

London’s Boris Bikes are his main concern. He questions the worth of last year’s 10.3 million hires on the basis that “eagle-eyed researchers have discovered that nine of the ten most popular trips on the bikes in the past five years were around Hyde Park.”

His position therefore is that “the bikes are mainly being used by tourists who just want to pootle around looking at Mrs Queen’s swans.”

But then he broadens things out, asserting that “the only people who use bikes instead of cars are lunatics who are waging some kind of idiotic war with anyone normal.”

Odd, considering that Clarkson himself was out on his bike one day after being fired by the BBC.

He goes on to describe last week’s video of a truck driver losing it with a bunch of cyclists – one of whom had been hit after going straight on from a left-turn lane – and presents it as if it were a typical example of the kind of thing being targeted by West Midlands Police’s close-pass operation.

He describes the case of Dean Littleford, the truck driver who was baffled to become the operation’s first court conviction, and takes issue with the recommendation that drivers allow 1.5m when passing cyclists.

“So let’s just work that out,” he writes. “The bike needs to be two feet from the kerb to be safe. It is a foot wide and it needs five feet of clearance. That’s eight feet for a bicycle, which on most normal British roads leaves two feet for the car or truck to get past safely.”

You’d think after all his years of driving, Clarkson would have discovered that those broken white lines down the middle of the road aren’t actually impenetrable.

Or perhaps he’s just adopting an exaggerated and confrontational position purely for his column.

It’s worth remembering that the presenter has previously spoken effusively about the cycling-centric nature of Copenhagen and said that he would move there “in a heartbeat”.

Perhaps his position is best summed up by his assertion that in Britain “cycling is a political statement” whereas in Copenhagen “it’s just a pleasant way of getting about.”

Alex has written for more cricket publications than the rest of the road.cc team combined. Despite the apparent evidence of this picture, he doesn't especially like cake.

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48 comments

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FrankH replied to Yorkshire wallet | 6 years ago
1 like

Yorkshire wallet wrote:

hawkinspeter wrote:

I actually enjoy his brand of humour. The only problem is when people mistake his rhetoric for sincerety.

Well exactly. The guy was trolling for decades before trolling even became 'a thing', he knows exactly what buttons he's pressing.

And after all this time, people STILL don't realise when their buttons are being pressed.

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ConcordeCX replied to FrankH | 6 years ago
3 likes

FrankH wrote:

Yorkshire wallet wrote:

hawkinspeter wrote:

I actually enjoy his brand of humour. The only problem is when people mistake his rhetoric for sincerety.

Well exactly. The guy was trolling for decades before trolling even became 'a thing', he knows exactly what buttons he's pressing.

And after all this time, people STILL don't realise when their buttons are being pressed.

they're all finite-state automata. They don't even know they have buttons.

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IanMunro replied to FrankH | 6 years ago
2 likes

FrankH wrote:

Yorkshire wallet wrote:

hawkinspeter wrote:

I actually enjoy his brand of humour. The only problem is when people mistake his rhetoric for sincerety.

Well exactly. The guy was trolling for decades before trolling even became 'a thing', he knows exactly what buttons he's pressing.

And after all this time, people STILL don't realise when their buttons are being pressed.

If someone's entire projected persona involves being an arse, the person *really is* an arse.
 

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hawkinspeter replied to IanMunro | 6 years ago
1 like

IanMunro wrote:

If someone's entire projected persona involves being an arse, the person *really is* an arse.

Quite possibly. I do enjoy Clarkson's antics and don't want to see him silenced or conforming to certain standards as that's part of what makes him funny (as opposed to Katy Hopkins who just seemed to be filled with hate). If he's echoing some "common" opinions, then it's worthwhile investigating why people think that way and whether some education (e.g. public information films) should be funded to put across the actual facts.

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slow_going replied to hawkinspeter | 6 years ago
2 likes

hawkinspeter wrote:

If he's echoing some "common" opinions, then it's worthwhile investigating why people think that way and whether some education (e.g. public information films) should be funded to put across the actual facts.

 

Thing is, he isn't just passively 'echoing' those opinions; he's reinforcing and amplifying them. His high profile helps to normalise and entrench them. So people are thinking those things - and thinking it's ok to think those things - in part because he is saying them in these humorous ways and in these very public forums.

As for re-educating people; his 'humourous' persona means that if anyone seriously tries to challeneg those opinions - say through 'public information films' - he can just evade that challenge by refusing to take any of it seriously. 

They greatest trick people like Clarkson ever pull is to write or say profoundly impacful things whilst all the while convincing the world that they're only joking.

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davel replied to Yorkshire wallet | 6 years ago
5 likes
Yorkshire wallet wrote:

hawkinspeter wrote:

I actually enjoy his brand of humour. The only problem is when people mistake his rhetoric for sincerety.

Well exactly. The guy was trolling for decades before trolling even became 'a thing', he knows exactly what buttons he's pressing.

The rules of satire make for great fun - take Alf Garnett for example. All the 'clever' people who get that the joke is on him as he's a bigot, are happy. All the people who take it as they see are happy as their bigot views are confirmed by someone else. EVERYONE'S A WINNER! Clarkson is a master of the game and a MULTI-MILLIONAIRE.

 

Agree to an extent, but...

The joke ultimately isn't on him, or Alf Garnett, is it?

Much as 'darkies' and 'Scouse gits' will have had much stronger, yet valid, responses than admiring the satire, Clarkson can be held to account for playing to the cheap seats.

Next time I'm punishment-passed for just being on the road and there's a split second when I wonder whether my kids are about to lose their dad, I'm sure I'll be forgiven for seeing the irresponsible prick making a mint out of rabble-rousing, as opposed to the master satirist passing comment on cultural issues.

(plus, as burt mentions, the whole producer-punching thing did make him out to be a diva who takes himself just a tad too seriously, rather than the self-deprecating wit that I'm sure he'd rather we saw him as)

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Beatnik69 replied to Yorkshire wallet | 6 years ago
0 likes

Yorkshire wallet wrote:

hawkinspeter wrote:

I actually enjoy his brand of humour. The only problem is when people mistake his rhetoric for sincerety.

The rules of satire make for great fun - take Alf Garnett for example. All the 'clever' people who get that the joke is on him as he's a bigot, are happy. All the people who take it as they see are happy as their bigot views are confirmed by someone else. EVERYONE'S A WINNER! Clarkson is a master of the game and a MULTI-MILLIONAIRE.

 

These are the ones who worry me. The ones who take what he says as gospel before going out on the roads in their cars...

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Eton Rifle replied to hawkinspeter | 6 years ago
2 likes

hawkinspeter wrote:

I actually enjoy his brand of humour. The only problem is when people mistake his rhetoric for sincerety.

 

Indeed.  The sad thing is that this saloon bar boor persona is the one that makes him the most money, so he sticks with it.  He can actually be a surprisingly articulate and engaging presenter when he isn't playing the twat.  I saw a documentary about Arnhem presented by him and he was very good.

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jasecd | 6 years ago
6 likes

He is ideally suited to writing in the Sun - spewing his effluent into a stinking shit filled creek makes perfect sense.

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Blandman | 6 years ago
3 likes

Yep , Clarkson is a F^%$wit !

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ChetManley | 6 years ago
18 likes

Nobody with an IQ over 40 cares what Clarkson says or what's in the Sun.

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pockstone replied to ChetManley | 6 years ago
11 likes

ChetManley wrote:

Nobody with an IQ over 40 cares what Clarkson says or what's in the Sun.

...and neither do I!

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tourdelound replied to ChetManley | 6 years ago
3 likes

ChetManley wrote:

Nobody with an IQ over 40 cares what Clarkson says or what's in the Sun.

Unfortunately that's quite a lot of people, according to the Press Gazette, The Sun, online & print, is read by 26.2 million people per month.  It gets worse though, the Daily Mail is read by by 29 million people per month. http://www.pressgazette.co.uk/nrs-the-sun-moves-up-to-become-second-most...

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Mungecrundle replied to tourdelound | 6 years ago
2 likes
tourdelound wrote:

ChetManley wrote:

Nobody with an IQ over 40 cares what Clarkson says or what's in the Sun.

Unfortunately that's quite a lot of people, according to the Press Gazette, The Sun, online & print, is read by 26.2 million people per month.  It gets worse though, the Daily Mail is read by by 29 million people per month. http://www.pressgazette.co.uk/nrs-the-sun-moves-up-to-become-second-most...

Does this include those who just look at the pictures?

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Petethepump replied to ChetManley | 6 years ago
4 likes

ChetManley wrote:

Nobody with an IQ over 40 cares what Clarkson says or what's in the Sun.

I dont either. 

Clarkson's an arse. 

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Metaphor | 6 years ago
7 likes

How can I report him for encouraging reckless/dangerous driving?

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Lincolnshire Mamil replied to Metaphor | 6 years ago
2 likes

Ramuz wrote:

How can I report him for encouraging reckless/dangerous driving?

Don't worry. He'll expedite his own eventual demise via his excessive consumption of Marlboros. 

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BehindTheBikesheds replied to Metaphor | 6 years ago
6 likes

Ramuz wrote:

How can I report him for encouraging reckless/dangerous driving?

Won't work, you can get two or three years in jail for hate crimes but anything against people on bikes even threats to kill that are in the public domain, the police aren't interested.

Two tier justice system and people on bikes are bottom of the pile by a LONG way.

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