As far as exciting names go, the "tetanus express" isn't the most appealing for casual weekend spin. Also, as per a quick Google search, the ol' tetanus/rust connection is apparently a bit of a myth, but hey, it's a fun name, let's not let the science get in the way of a good time...
As a long since departed Instagram user, checking Trench Tales' brilliant documentation of life in a bike shop periodically for live blog crackers is just about it for that particular app. But if there was one account likely to keep me coming back, it's them. Well worth a follow if you like your mechanical mishaps messy and just generally want to feel slightly better about the state you keep your pride and joy in.
Despite the bicycle abuse on show in every post, it's really hard to look away...remember these?
Yep, two Trench Tales classics. Anyway, today's caused the page's growing following the usual disbelief and amusement at what a mechanic is meant to do when an expectant customer arrives with THAT in tow...
One speculated the line delivered was: "IT JUST NEEDS A TUNE UP. I USED TO WORK IN A SHOP"
Another that it was just in for a "flat repair and rear brake adjustment. Only."
Someone else asked if it had been salvaged from the Titanic. Well played...
Remember Ciccone's 2019 Giro win? Okay, fair enough maybe you're not as nerdy as us. The one where he beat Jan Hirt in the sprint and lobbed his glasses away in excitement...
He's done it again...
Cicco time at #VCV2023 🥳🥳🥳🥳
Watch him win stage 2 👇👇
— Trek-Segafredo (@TrekSegafredo) February 2, 2023
And if you want the blue bird app summed up in two embeds, here you go...
EPIC celebration by Ciccone!
— Simon Warren (@100Climbs) February 2, 2023
Spoiler alert - chucking your sunglasses when you win just makes you look like a spoilt brat!
— Ronan Mc Laughlin (@ronanmclaughlin) February 2, 2023
Seems there's only one way to decide this...
Crime Alert - Theft of cycle On Wednesday 18/01/2023 between 09:10 hrs to 10:00 hrs unknown suspect stole victims bike with large black saddle bags locked and secured to bike rack O/S,BLAGDON ROAD,MALDEN CENTRE,NEW MALDEN,KT3 4TA #community #Lock #Secure https://t.co/Ch9ZsDDrOO pic.twitter.com/1dKS47R6fO
— New Malden Village Police (@MPSVillageSW) January 19, 2023
We are noticing an increase in theft of bikes secured and unsecured . It is solely the owner’s responsibility to insure they secure and lock bikes to bike rack using a good D locks rather than a cheap basic padlocks which thieves can easily cut through. Regards PCSO Griffith
— New Malden Village Police (@MPSVillageSW) January 20, 2023
Unsurprisingly the have a pop at victims approach to tackling crime didn't go down spectacularly well...
If im shoplifting, is it the shop owners responsibility to have adequate security?
— Bike Rogers (@bike_rogers) February 2, 2023
So it is the cyclist's fault? With rechargeable grinder cutters now, even Good d-locks are easy meat, it seems. But hey ho, it is our fault for having expensive bikes (not). Yet again 'blame gaming' in Action!
— Cyclist_With_Attitude (It/trouble/nutter/mad) (@CyclistAttitude) February 2, 2023
Do you say the same to car or homeowners when they are burgled, or to shops when a shoplifter robs them? 🤔
— Ryan D (@RWDWirralGreens) February 1, 2023
— Glasgow Fietser (@FietserGlasgow) February 2, 2023
Holy moly that's a big crash...
— Le Gruppetto (@LeGruppetto) February 2, 2023
The stage has been neutralised while the race staff, doctors and riders pick through the pile of bikes and bodies. Let's hope everyone is as well as they can be after a pile up like that.
Horrendous scenes at the #EDB2023, hopefully everyone is safe, including the Total Energies rider literally hanging on to a bridge 🙏🙏
— Guillaume (@GuillaumeWatt) February 2, 2023
— Le Gruppetto (@LeGruppetto) February 2, 2023
We'll bring you more details as we get them here on the live blog...
🥇 Stage win
📈 Into the GC lead
1️⃣ stage left to defend the green jersey
— Eurosport (@eurosport) February 2, 2023
Ignore the flat finish, there was a tough ol' climb to the plateau at the top where Davide Formolo, Santiago Buitrago, Felix Großschartner and Ruben Guerreiro did battle for the stage win and control of the race.
As you've probably gathered, Guerreiro got the victory, his first for Movistar and leads Formolo by eight seconds on GC.
Not sure much more needs to be said, it's Saudi Tour after all...
Just serviced my niece's bike which had been outdoors in Oban for a year. Chains, cables and freewheels are consumables.
OK that hub needs work but rust always looks a lot worse than it is. Takes more than this to really kill a bike. https://t.co/a5dwJ5gVBn
— 𝙾𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛 (@overlandertheb1) February 2, 2023
Patrick9-32: "As someone who has four bikes, three of which currently have punctures I haven't got round to fixing yet, I don't appreciate the poor maintenance shaming." You're welcome, Patrick. If it's any consolation, I've only got one but still haven't got everything under control. Give me some sunshine for motivation...
JustTryingToGet...: "If it makes you feel better, I rarely bother sorting mine now unless it's urgent, I wait for issues to accumulate and then get the whole thing sorted... I'm so lazy someone comes to my house to collect the bike! I quite like this maintenance shaming as I've never let a bike get that bad!"
Global Nomad's got a simpler outlook on maintenance... "As long as the wheel goes around when I pedal."
[📷: SWPix.com/Zack Whitehead]
Ethan Hayter has undergone successful surgery in Australia for a fractured collarbone sustained at last weekend's Cadel Evans Great Ocean Road Race. The talented young Brit will now travel home but will not be competing at next week's European Track Championships in Switzerland, Ineos Grenadiers confirmed to Cyclingnews.
The 24-year-old's wins have been getting steadily bigger during his WorldTour career. Last year he added a British national TT championship and the Tour of Poland to his growing palmares and finished fourth in the World Championships TT.
Potholes, dangerous driving, broken glass, ice, dodgy infrastructure, invisible dog leads etc. etc. you've heard almost just about every possible danger to people riding bicycles — until now...
Well, according to the East Anglian Daily Times concerns have been raised about the cutting back of a Suffolk hedgerow that may be endangering cyclists and damaging valuable habitat for wildlife.
The worry is the cut hedge in Goldings Lane may cause punctures and increase the debris along the route.
However, nobody seems to know why the hedge was trimmed, with residents and the council unsure of the culprit. Not sure the BBC will be after a six-part mystery crime drama, but still, frustrating for those involved...
"It appears to be a mystery. Whether it is tidying up in terms of hedge trimming or whether there are any plans for that site. There is certainly nothing that the town council is aware of," Cllr John Last said.
But back at our winter training camp they got a lesson in... forfeits 🤣🤣🤣 pic.twitter.com/4wa7QZU1MH
— INEOS Grenadiers (@INEOSGrenadiers) February 2, 2023
Admittedly probably the most sober a British male forced to do a swimming pool forfeit at a hotel by the beach in Spain has ever been...
Saw @theJeremyVine on Tuesday, and he was so alert. He knew exactly what I was doing so only waved and didn't call out so as not to alert the two drivers I was about to catch. I love that cycle lane, btw. It's excellent. I'm only out of it because of catching phone drivers. pic.twitter.com/1cIJsePvN2
— CyclingMikey (@MikeyCycling) February 2, 2023
Don't tell Jo about this...
Anyway, cyclists recording law-breaking road users has been a hot topic this past week, with an Edinburgh rider who caught 12 drivers in one hour subsequently deactivating his social media accounts due to abuse. Well, we spoke to Mikey about the issue and he told us "people need to see justice being done" and the abuse only comes because some motorists "feel they have the right to drive how they want".
Dan joined road.cc in 2020, and spent most of his first year (hopefully) keeping you entertained on the live blog. At the start of 2022 he took on the role of news editor. Before joining road.cc, Dan wrote about various sports, including football and boxing for the Daily Express, and covered the weird and wonderful world of non-league football for The Non-League Paper. Part of the generation inspired by the 2012 Olympics, Dan has been 'enjoying' life on two wheels ever since and spends his weekends making bonk-induced trips to the petrol stations of the south of England.