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Christmas gifts for cyclists, actually, no.

Christmas gifts you shouldn't buy for a cyclist have been kind enough to offer you a vast array of Christmas gift ideas for your cycling chums, no matter where their pedaling allegiances lay, but time is getting tight and you might get in a bit of a flappy panic and make a rash decision, such as buying one of these exquisite items just before the shops shut. Please don’t.

A Funny T-Shirt

That’s going straight to Oily Rag


A Tie

Especially a funny one, could be handy for flossing chain-rings and cassettes clean though.

A Motivational Sticker For My Top-Tube

Shut Up.

A Flower-Pot

A bicycle is not a VW Beetle. Or a front parlour (that's a vase surely? - ed).

Something Made From An Old Bicycle Chain

Yeah, thanks. There’s a reason I throw rusty chains away.

A Pizza Cutter

I have 23 of these, one for each Christmas since people knew I liked bikes.

A Lance Armstrong Book

I know he's the only cyclist you know, but there's this whole thing....

Anything With The World Championships Bands On

Yes it looks pretty, but you’re not the World Champion. Don’t dilute the achievement.

Some Cycling Patterned Mantyhose

Oh, thank you, very thoughtful, but, um, er, um, I prefer bibs.

A Medal Display Rack

If I get a medal in the Olympics then I might be brash enough to display it, the plastic decoration for completing the 100km Hell Of Crawley I can throw right in the bin with the out of date energy bar and bike parts catalogue I got in my registration bag.

If you’re in any doubt about the right gift, take your eager cyclist down to the bike shop with some cash in your hand and see the joy spread across their little face when they get something they actually want and can actually use.


Jo Burt has spent the majority of his life riding bikes, drawing bikes and writing about bikes. When he's not scribbling pictures for the whole gamut of cycling media he writes words about them for and when he's not doing either of those he's pedaling. Then in whatever spare minutes there are in between he's agonizing over getting his socks, cycling cap and bar-tape to coordinate just so. And is quietly disappointed that yours don't He rides and races road bikes a bit, cyclo-cross bikes a lot and mountainbikes a fair bit too. Would rather be up a mountain.

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