From Deux Moulins to Dumoulin: Pro cycling’s most iconic toilet stops

When Nils Politt hopped off his bike and jumped the barrier at the bottom of the Butte Montmartre, before fighting his way through the beer-guzzling and wine-sipping patrons of the famous Café des Deux Moulins in search of a bathroom during the closing stages of Saturday’s Olympic men’s road race, he inadvertently entered his name into one of the more, ahem, niche chapters of professional cycling’s history – as the latest rider to fall victim to a high-profile, mid-race emergency toilet stop.

The big German was part of the counterattack, including eventual silver medallist Valentin Madouas, that attempted to bridge across to Ben Healy in the final 50km of Saturday’s race, which saw Remco Evenepoel solo to a historic second gold medal at this year’s Games.

Politt’s medal chances were derailed, however, on the final laps of the tight, technical city centre circuit in the French capital, after suffering stomach problems brought on by the stifling Parisian heat.

Politt, pre-pitstop (Zac Williams/SWpix.com)

And on the final lap, at the foot of the now-iconic cobbled climb to the Sacré-Cœur, after being dropped out of the counterattacking move, the 30-year-old was forced to succumb to the call of nature and stop for a comfort break.

However, with fans lining every inch of the urban circuit, often five or six deep, Politt had to ditch the traditional cyclists’ retreat of the hedge or grass verge, instead opting for the nearest roadside bar or café to ensure a private, mid-race stoppage.

> How do Tour de France cyclists pee on the bike? Your comprehensive guide to in-race relief

Not that the German’s choice of pub offered him much in the way of privacy. The Café des Deux Moulins, named after Montmartre’s two historic windmills nearby, is famous for its role as the workplace of the quirky title character in cult French romcom Amélie, and has been a popular tourist destination since that film’s release in 2001.

Outside it was impossible to do it due to masssive crowds so Nils Politt was forced to do a pee stop today at the famous Café des 2 Moulins in Montmartre. He still finished the race, 20 minutes after Remco Evenepoel. #Paris2024pic.twitter.com/zPmSPUMWeK

— Mihai Simion (@faustocoppi60) August 3, 2024

After making his way through the crowds, startled at their closer than expected view of an Olympian, on the road and in the café, Politt managed to settle his stomach issues and enjoyed a hero’s return as he made his way back through the packed establishment, jumped over the barriers, and got back on his bike, eventually finishing the race in 70th, almost 20 minutes down on Evenepoel.

“I did not count how much time it took me,” the UAE Team Emirates rider, who helped Tadej Pogačar to his third Tour de France title last month, told reporters at the finish.

“It was really warm, we were drinking a lot of water, ate a lot of gels, and normally I don’t have problems. But today I had an upset stomach.”

En pleine course olympique, Nils Politt a donc fait une pause pipi au Café des 2 moulins, le bar d’Amélie Poulain. pic.twitter.com/jABuwSdDck

— Donatien Huet (@dodonatien) August 3, 2024

Of course, Politt’s upset stomach and Amélie-themed mid-race stop isn’t the first time that pro cyclists have been caught short and forced to get creative when it comes to a comfort break.

Inspired by the German’s Olympic pitstop, we decided to dive – metaphorically, I’ll make that clear – into the history books and chart some of the sport’s most infamous trips to the loo…

Mathieu van der Poo-el

Picture the scene. The world road race championships are passing right by your house, and environmental protesters block the course, causing the entire peloton and accompanying convoy to take an unplanned break on your road.

And then, and this is where it gets really unusual, a big Dutch bloke clad in a weird, transparent orange jersey knocks on your door, asking if he could avail of your facilities. And later that afternoon, you turn on the telly and find out that the nice blonde fella who sprinted into your toilet only went and won the damn race.

(Pauline Ballet/SWpix.com)

That was Scottish couple Davie and Shona Findlay’s one-of-a-kind experience at last year’s Glasgow worlds, when Mathieu van der Poel visited their home for his now infamous ‘protest poo’ after activists from environmental group This is Rigged glued themselves to the road 80km into the race, in the Carron Valley between Edinburgh and Glasgow, putting an almost hour-long halt to proceedings.

Which proved more than enough time for Van der Poel to… err, settle his nerves before setting off again for Glasgow, where he won his maiden world road race title, and the first Dutch rainbow jersey in almost 40 years.

“All we did was offer a bit of hospitality, which we would always do. Any of the neighbours would have done the same thing,” Davie told the Daily Record following Van der Poel’s unannounced visit, the paper delighting in the chance for a scatological worlds-related headline.

“We did feel that it was a bit of an emergency because the team manager came first and asked if we could let one rider use the facilities, who I now take to be Mathieu van der Poel. He was such a nice guy and extremely polite and he was so grateful.”

And the future world champion wasn’t the only Dutch rider warming the Findlays’ toilet seat that momentous August day.

“The next thing we knew there was another rider and then another and I think we had four of the guys from the Netherlands in,” Davie continued.

“I think they were just taking advantage of the lull in the race and enjoying the rest while they got focused for the restart.” Lovely.

(Zac Williams/SWpix.com)

And it’s fair to say Mathieu was grateful for the warm Scottish hospitality.

“I had to do a big massive errand,” he said, in classic Dutch style. “I had to knock on the door of a couple’s house along the course. I really owe them and I would like to thank them so much. I couldn’t have carried on racing without their help.

“It was the biggest race of my life and it was so kind of these people to let me in their house and let me sit on their toilet.”

Spoken like a true world champion.

Tom Poo-moulin and THAT Giro d’Italia comfort break

(LaPresse/RCS Sport)

Sticking with the Dutch, and onto perhaps the most talked-about, dramatic comfort break in the history of professional cycling.

On stage 16 of the 2017 Giro d’Italia, Tom Dumoulin – who started the day with an almost three minute lead over Nairo Quintana, as he aimed for his first grand tour victory – was riding with the main group of favourites at the foot of the second ascent of the Stelvio with just over 30km to go, when the pink jersey suddenly veered over to the side of the road, seemingly due to a mechanical problem.

However, as the Sunweb leader started to take his helmet off, then his maglia rosa, before peeling his bib shorts off, it suddenly (and finally) became clear to everyone at home, the race cameraman, and commentator Rob Hatch that Dumoulin was in a different kind of spot of difficulty.

Very public call of nature answered, the Dutch rouleur was then forced into a desperate chase as Quintana and eventual stage winner Vincenzo Nibali worked to hammer home their rival’s misfortune, gaining over two minutes on a somewhat lighter Dumoulin by the finish in Bormio and reigniting the GC race.

But all’s well that ends well for those caught short while trying to win a grand tour, as Dumoulin – despite slipping to fourth after the race’s final mountain stage – took advantage of the Giro’s final 30km time trial to Milan to overhaul his toilet stop attackers and win what would turn out to be the only three-weeker of his career.

(LaPresse/RCS Sport)

So, what was the cause of Dumoulin’s dramatic, infamous late-stage number two?

“A number of food groups, such as fructose and lactose, are not very digestible for some people, and some us have a little more trouble with them than others,” he said a year later.

“If you are already at the limit in your digestive system and you just eat a piece of food at the wrong time, such as during the Giro, it can come through pretty quickly.”

Now, given the speed of Dumoulin’s Olympic-level undressing at the foot of the Stelvio, that’s a hell of an understatement.

Annemiek van Vleuten, Demi Vollering, and the comfort break attack

One of cycling’s many unwritten rules advises riders that they’re not allowed to attack during feed zones (unless you’re Sean Kelly and PDM in the 1980s, of course).

That rule also applies, naturally, to roadside comfort breaks, especially if the rider answering the call of nature happens to be the race leader. However, as Tadej Pogačar – whose ill-timed pee during a stage of this year’s Tour de France was accompanied by a series of attacks (which nevertheless amounted to nothing) – knows all too well, some rules are made to be broken.

And at the 2023 Vuelta Femenina, that very issue came to a head, as red jersey Demi Vollering and her SD Worx teammates stopped for a comfort break early on stage six of the recently revamped stage race, with Vollering holding a slender lead over her compatriot Annemiek van Vleuten heading into the race’s decisive weekend.

But just as Vollering pulled to the side of the road, Van Vleuten’s Movistar team – in a purportedly pre-planned move – attacked en masse.

Van Vleuten – who the summer before had experienced her own toilet issues, and frequent roadside breaks, due to an upset stomach during the early part of her ultimately victorious Tour de France campaign – would end up putting over a minute into Vollering by the finish, as Gaia Realini took the stage.

And Van Vleuten’s ultimate winning margin over Vollering as she won the penultimate stage race of her storied career? Nine seconds.

It’s fair to say that Vollering was apoplectic about her rival’s nature break-timed attack, tearfully describing it after the stage as a “shame” – but the SD Worx leader nevertheless managed to get her own back later that summer by beating Van Vleuten head-to-head on the climbs to win her first Tour de France title. And she didn’t even need a badly timed pee to do it.

Crapper vans at the Tour de France

I swear that some very enthusiastic cycling fans save up to buy a campervan just so they can drive it all the way to an isolated road high in the Alps, all in the hope that an energy gel-filled pro will sense the desperation setting in and make a panicked beeline for their lovely, rickety vehicle and its squeaky clean, knees-against-the-door toilet facilities.

There’s been a long and illustrious (if that’s the word) line of grand tour riders taking advantage of the hospitality of shocked roadside spectators to answer the call of nature.

Last month at the Tour de France, Lidl-Trek’s Tim Declercq added his name to that unique list, clambering into a fan’s camper to leave a tractor-shaped dent in their loo.

@globalcyclingnetwork 🚽 When you just have to go! Tim Declercq of Lidl Trek takes a moment to use the facilities of a roadside fan at the @letourdefrance 🚽 #tourdefrance #tdf2024 #tdf24 ♬ original sound - GCN

In doing so, the Belgian domestique followed in the shaky, panicked footsteps of none other than Peter Sagan, who popped into a roadside motorhome to freshen up after dropping out of the breakaway on stage 17 of the 2016 Tour:

Sagan volgt het voorbeeld van Dumoulin en brengt bezoekje aan camper https://t.co/bBKTaTbFRR pic.twitter.com/qW6KDE6T86

— Maurice de Heus (@MauriceDeHeus) July 20, 2016

I wonder if the van’s owners have that photo framed and situated pride of place above the toilet now?

Greg LeMond craps on Bernard Hinault (sort of)

Finally, in one of the more Freudian bowel evacuations in cycling history, Greg LeMond – in the midst of being psychologically and occasionally physically tortured by outgoing patron of the peloton, and his own La Vie Claire teammate, Bernard Hinault, at the 1986 Tour de France – spent a good hour after one stage of that year’s race crapping on Hinault’s face. Well, almost.

Stricken by a bout of explosive diarrhoea during stage ten to Futuroscope – it may have been down to a bad peach, or maybe the Mexican food he had recently indulged in with fellow American Andy Hampsten – LeMond had already resorted to the classic ‘shove your teammate’s precious cycling cap down your shorts’ trick (a method pioneered by Tom Simpson at the 1967 Tour), which unfortunately didn’t help with the, ahem, “severe” issues he was facing on the road.

Let’s just say that you wouldn’t have wanted to spend too long on LeMond’s wheel in the peloton that day.

I’ll leave what followed next at the finish to the three-time Tour winner, who eventually overcame Hinault’s Squid Game-style challenges to win his first yellow jersey that year, himself.

“I got to the finish line with severe stomach cramps,” he told Richard Moore for the late cycling writer’s brilliant book about the ’86 Tour, Slaying the Badger. “I get off and there are all those people, they want to talk to you, but I’m like ‘Get out of my way!’

“And I go over to the team’s motorhome, and I’m so grateful we have one, I’m rushing, and I go to open the toilet, and they’ve removed it. It’s full of boxes of postcards. The one sitting where the toilet was… God, the irony! Imagine a box this high with all these Hinault postcards. There had to be thirty, forty thousand of these cards.

“I took them all out the centre, so I could sit like it was a toilet seat. And I sat there for an hour and a half.”

Now, that’s certainly one way to shit on your closest rival. But when you gotta go, you gotta go.