“Why is everyone being so mean?” Mark Cavendish trolled for “dead slow” Paris Half Marathon time – but fans hit back at “armchair warriors throwing shade”; “Dirty-looking” bike lane bollards slammed; Gilbert v Vingegaard; WVA tiles + more on the live blog

Last week on the live blog, we reported on the live blog that perennial French housewives’ favourite Tommy Voeckler joined the ever-growing ranks of cyclists who can run pretty fast by completing the Paris Half Marathon in a very impressive time of 1:13.21.

That was enough to secure the former Europcar star, now manager of the French national team, fourth in his age category (which included former three-time European triathlon champion Frédéric Belaubre) and 179th overall out of 48,000 entrants.

And Tommy even topped it all off by finishing his run and rushing across to the France Télévisions studio to commentate on the opening stage of Paris-Nice.

 

 

 

 

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> Retired pro cyclist Tommy Voeckler clocks super-fast 1:13.21 at Paris half-marathon while gurning for the TV cameras – before heading off to commentate on Paris-Nice

But it turns out that gurner-in-chief Voeckler wasn’t the only retired pro cyclist running the streets of Paris last week.

Yesterday, 35-time Tour de France stage winner Sir Mark Cavendish posted a collection of snaps on Instagram from his recent stay in the French capital – the scene of four consecutive Tour victories for the Manx Missile between 2009 and 2012 – featuring a more relaxing than usual amble along the  Champs-Élysées, a trip to the Louvre, a PSG match, breakfast pastries, coffee… and a stab at the Paris Half Marathon.

Cavendish’s decision to interrupt his well-deserved retirement with some running – he said last winter he plans to spend the first spring of his retirement taking on the Paris Marathon with his brother – saw him cover the half distance in a highly respectable time of 1:57.08.

 

 

 

 

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Sure, he’s a fair bit off grand tour winner-turned-amateur running king Tom Dumoulin, who clocked a blistering half marathon time of 1:08.42 in January, but for a first go, Cav’s time was not too shabby at all.

Or so we thought. Because, along with the usual jokes about sprinting past everyone in the last 200m or needing a decent lead-out train, the grumpy running corner of the internet (who weren’t even that impressed with Dumoulin’s time, it must be said) has reacted to Cavendish’s Paris Half Marathon attempt with the social media equivalent of an eye roll and a barely contained tut.

> Former pro cyclist Tom Dumoulin clocks a blistering 1:08:42 half marathon... but grumpy runners aren't impressed

“I wouldn't want that time posted all over social media!” wrote Neil Bardsley, while Rob Burns asked: “Was he in a Dalek costume?”

“Dead slow for a world class athlete,” concluded Ken Nuttley, while Kurt Oehlberg said: “I would have expected a bit faster time given his years of cardio fitness.”

“How on earth can he run that slow after 20 years of cardio training? Sounds strange,” agreed Christian Ebert.

“He must have walked,” suggested Narasimhan. I’m sure he could do a sub-90 with the power and endurance he has.”

“Honestly I would have expected much better from a professional cyclist,” said Chris Gilligan. “Maybe he was running with his wife, or a group or something.”

“He must have been taking it very easy,” added Paul Wright, while Peter Williams joked that Cav’s attempt was “not a bad time running in cleats”.

(A.S.O./Thomas_Maheux)

Others weren’t as charitable, however.

“Not as easy as cycling, is it?” jabbed Andrew Cooke, as Kaleb Torgerson wondered whether the 2011 world champion was trying to “outdo Phil Gaimon with the worst retirement ever?”

And a very chuffed Rob Green said: “Well, I couldn’t ride a bike as fast as he did, but I now know I can run a half marathon quicker than he can.”

> Mark Cavendish wins “special” BBC Lifetime Achievement award after record-breaking final season

Thankfully, not everyone joined in on the Cav trolling.

“Why is everyone being so mean?” asked Gil MacLeod.

“Not very welcoming to a new runner, we all have to start somewhere,” wrote Gordon Graham. “Slagging him off for his time is disgraceful. He doesn’t call you when he sees your times on the bike on Strava. Well done, Mark Cavendish.”

“Very well done, Mark Cavendish. You absolute legend,” added Paul Starr. “Running and cycling two completely different disciplines. Great achievement.”

And Eric Tofflemire noted: “He was a sprinter with roots in track cycling. Reprogramming everything from explosive strength cycling, to endurance running is more difficult than many are recognising. Well done, Sir!”

 (Zac Williams/SWpix.com)

“Might be nice to see some of you ‘experts’ going on about PBs get on a bike for four hours at 40kph+, and then sprint for 400m at 70kph! Any of you up for it?” asked David Robinson. I can hear crickets chirping…

“Well done Mark, you’re a proper hero and champion. Any armchair warrior throwing shade here is not worthy to pump your tyres,” said Chinedu, while Jonathan said: “Guys give it to the GOAT. He just wants to run, okay?”

And Chris Madge concluded: “His time is irrelevant really, fair play to you Mark Cavendish.”

Now that’s the kind of attitude we should all take – let the man enjoy his retirement for goodness’ sake. Even if it means… shudder… running for enjoyment.

Here on the live blog, we assumed we’d heard every possible argument that could be made against cycling infrastructure under the sun.

Nobody uses bike lanes, they take up too much space, cyclists don’t pay for them, we can’t reverse fast out of our driveways without looking anymore… You get the picture.

But this week a few councillors over in Carlow have added their own unique ingredient to that heady anti-cycling cocktail by calling for the removal of the Irish town’s cycle lane bollards… because they’re “dirty looking”.

This appraisal of bollard aesthetics came during a recent meeting of Carlow Municipal District, called ostensibly to discuss plans for future active travel initiatives in the town, located in the south-east of Ireland, but which was derailed by criticism of Carlow’s existing cycling infrastructure.

According to the council’s chair Fergal Browne, some cyclists choose not to ride in Carlow’s cycle lanes because they are “too dangerous”, pointing out that road sweepers cannot access them, leading to a build-up of debris.

“The only thing missing from the cycle lanes is cyclists,” he added, the Carlow Nationalist reports.

Browne also argued that the bollards on the town’s Green Lane cycle lane, installed after frequent reports of drivers parking their cars on the lane, “haven’t worked”, claiming that they are “getting quite dirty-looking and not looking well at all”.

The Fine Gael councillor then called for the wands to be removed and replaced by either smaller bollards or no form of protection at all.

“The higher bollards are unsightly,” he concluded, while People Before Profit councillor Adrienna Wallace agreed that the bollards on Green Lane were looking “dirty and broken”. The poor bollards.

> Controversial 'driveway-blocking' cycle lane wands revealed to have cost £20,000, but under-fire council defends scheme from critics upset "you can't just reverse out fast any more"

Fianna Fail councillor Fintan Phelan, however, pointed out that protected cycle lanes were “necessary for safety reasons”, arguing that cycling in Carlow would be “quite dangerous” without them.

He also told the meeting that a change in mindset was required to make riding a bike a “viable option” for locals, pointing to a recent trip by some council members to Utrecht to observe the Dutch city’s approach to cycling.

And on a practical level, senior executive engineer Seamus Loughlin noted that he would raise the matter of cleaning inside the cycle lane bollards with the council’s maintenance team and have a suitable sweeper used.

That should spruce things up nicely for those more worried about aesthetics than protection, eh?

 

 

 

 

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First things first, credit to Nils Eekhoff and Team Picnic PostNL for their victory at Nokere Koerse this afternoon, the Dutchman timing his sprint beautifully to beat Matteo Moschetti and American rider Luke Lamperti. Unfortunately for Alpecin Deceuninck the main storyline coming out of the race is the crash of Jasper Philipsen just days before the defence of his Milan-Sanremo crown.

There was a heavy fall in the final kilometre, Philipsen seemingly the second rider to go down and sent somersaulting by a falling rider behind him. The images didn't look good, the Belgian with some hefty road rash and seen being led away into an ambulance. Whether he'll be able to line up at the start of Milan-Sanremo on Saturday remains to be seen, Alpecin Deceuninck yet to comment.

It would certainly be a blow for the team who have won the opening monument of the season in each of the last two years, in 2023 with Mathieu van der Poel and last time out with Philipsen. Let's see if there are any more updates this evening... 

Things are getting out of hand now, aren’t they?

After Juan Ayuso proved at Tirreno-Adriatico (and the Trofeo Laigueglia, and the Faun Drome Classic) that there is more than one scarily dominant one-day and stage racer at UAE Team Emirates, today saw the turn of another of Tadej Pogačar’s precocious young teammates, Isaac del Toro, to stake his claim as the heir to the throne at Milano-Torino.

After UAE controlled the peloton for much of the day, and Adam Yates blew the group apart on the second ascent of the Superga, the Italian classic’s iconic finishing climb, 21-year-old Mexican Del Toro duly lit things up with just over a kilometre to go.

 

 

 

 

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He was swiftly followed by two other promising young talents, Visma-Lease a Bike’s 22-year-old British prospect Ben Tulett and Uno-X’s Tobias Halland Johannessen. Johannessen launched his own attack in the closing stages, only for Tulett to close him down.

But as the road flattened towards the top, Del Toro remained patient on Tulett’s wheel, before accelerating clear of the British rider in the final 200m, crossing the line with a flamboyant bow as he secured arguably the biggest win of his young career – and his team’s 19th of the season (to put that into perspective, that’s five more wins than Ineos managed during the whole of 2024).

Scary times, indeed.

Afternoon, live blog readers. Dan here, taking over from Ryan for the briefest of moments (he's busy on a press call for a very exciting announcement we'll be bringing you later today about a certain French bike race). Another major international event is the Mallorca 312 (a seamless segue, I know).

The popular event is back in the headlines today, the Majorca Daily Bulletin reporting this year will see a "record number" of participants. That's 8,500 riders taking on the famous sportive.

Anyway, why's this getting attention? Well, there were some recent protests over the event, locals calling for it to be cancelled because of its "abusive" road closures which "violate" locals' rights to "enter or leave their homes" and turn island into a "theme park". 

We contacted the event's organisers to see if there was anything else they wanted to add with a month to go, but haven't heard back yet.

If crashing out of Paris-Nice and missing out on the Volta a Catalunya through injury wasn’t bad enough for Jonas Vingegaard, former world champion Philippe Gilbert has decided to add insult to injury – by accusing the two-time Tour de France winner of “hiding” and failing to play a leading role during the chaos that engulfed the Race to the Sun’s snowy stage four to La Loge des Gardes.

That stage, which came the day before Vingegaard’s ultimately race-ending crash on the road to La Côte-Saint-André, was temporarily neutralised by race organisers ASO after snow and sleet made the road conditions treacherous, leading to crashes in the race convoy on a descent.

After an almost hour-long break in freezing conditions, the race got underway again with 28km to go, as João Almeida pipped Vingegaard for the win on the summit finish.

ASO/Pauline Ballet

However, while Vingegaard insisted after the stage that “we should never have raced this final”, Gilbert says the Dane should have done more to influence the organisers at the time.

“Vingegaard was trying to hide, as usual, behind other people,” the retired classics star told Belgian cycling programme Dans le Peloton.

“And that’s when he should have told ASO that we need to make quick, on-the-spot decisions in the interest of everyone, the teams, the organisers.

“But he was completely absent. He may have been injured, but these are times when we need the leaders of cycling. And he was absent once again.”

Gilbert continued: “This is what shows his great lack of charisma. This is what often plays tricks on him, even in the final stages of races, he has no charisma.

“And he can’t exert influence against, for example, a Pogačar, who is doubly charismatic. He’s overflowing with it.”

Ouch.

Six days on lovely Tuscan roads, riding with Paris-Roubaix winner Andrea Tafi, Michelin-awarded hotels and restaurants, a custom-fitted Colnago C68, and lots of cocktails – would you fork out £7,636 for all that?

> Colnago’s new luxury cycling holiday costs £38-per-mile

A classic example, as Bikery pointed out on Twitter, of “pretty f***ing pointless” cycling infrastructure here, courtesy of Mirfield, near Dewsbury:

Of course, there’s always one (or two, or 100) in the comments.

“They are allowed to park there. You are supposed to go around them,” wrote the ever-reliable ‘JustCrypto’.

I should definitely listen to what he says, then. Though he had surprisingly less to say about the obvious pavement parking, funny that.

“Why do we need cycle lanes at all?” asked Rob. “People have parked in that spot for tens of years but now some bright spark decided to put a cycle lane there for the benefit of…”

Deary me.

> UCI president David Lappartient vows to stand up to Donald Trump in pitch for top Olympic job