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The ubiquitous Carlton Kirby
An old chestnut, I know but... Argh! Why is Carlton Kirby determined to ruin my procycling enjoyment?! The man is everywhere. I cannot understand how he keeps getting work. To listen to his commentary is to hear a man drowning - the guesswork, the misidentifications, the tedious Partridge-esque turns of phrase, the needless shouting that does not inject excitement in the final... The way he 'wings it' reminds me of those psychic charlatans doing 'cold reading'. Anyone else would be preferable. Anyone. There are many other commentators who actually know what they are talking about. His co-commentators often sound embarrassed. I know I am. He makes watching almost unbearable. As each new race starts I pray it won't be him but increasingly often I am disappointed. 
Sorry for venting but thanks for listening. I couldn't hold it in any more. Hearing his voice in the opening seconds of tonight's Dauphine coverage finally sent me over the edge 
If you're new please join in and if you have questions pop them below and the forum regulars will answer as best we can.
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65 comments
Could be worse , anybody whose has heard any of the bt sport presenters who cover their football games should be thankful they have not got there mitts on cycling !
Paris-Roubaix was destroyed by this man.
Absolutely re Paris-Roubaix. I was fortunate enough to discover that the excellent Rob Hatch was commentating on Radio 5 Live Sports Extra to had that on the radio with the TV on mute
I so hope Eurosport don't give Kirby the Tour.
From the tone of David Harmon's recent tweets, even though he is available for work now, Eurosport don't seem to want him
Monotone, no, someone with a bit of knowledge of the sport, yes.
I think he's great or would people prefer a monotone dictionary spouting nobody to commentate
He was truly awful today. Breakaway riders are 'breakers' (waves?), climbs are 'testy' (grumpy?) and a seatpost is a stem (wrong end Carlton). And if he tells us why Rodriguez is called Purito one more time...
Carlton "He's not in a happy place" Kirby. I love his commentary but only with the sound turned off.......
Vuelta ruined.
I was waiting and you didn't disappoint ha ha you may as well end it all
I miss David Harmon terribly - hope he gets better soon; he must surely wince if he were to watch his replacement Kirby. If Kirby showed at least the required cycling knowledge I'd forgive all his other shortcomings as a commentator.
Another Brit about to win another TdF. We deserve better commentating.
I like Carlton, much more than the ITV commentators. The ITV commentators talk about 3 things: Sky, Sky, Sky, Sky, Sky, Froome, Froome, Froome, Froome, Froome, Cav, Cav, Cav, Cav.
Carlton just really likes bicycling, and seems to cheer for everyone. Thats true joy in sports and it is a joy to listen to in my opinion.
This is the enthusiasm I like ->
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=3ru3vGR8nck#t=411s
Love Harmon but anything is better than that buffoon Phil Liggett on ITV4, except perhaps Hugh Porter who I will never forgive for trying to ruin my enjoyment of the Olympic road race.
Agree 100% on David Harmon. A really good commentator with great knowledge and a gift for the right turn of phrase.
For me Carlton is improving and should be persevered with.
David Harmon said he'd be back for TdF. Anyone know where he is?
He's not well: https://twitter.com/Lara_Thornton/status/349894796325814274.
I wish him well - I was just about to comment that Dave is my preferred commentator with Carlton coming in second.
Thanks for that.
David, if you were to read this, get well soon. You are missed.
I watched it on ITV yesterday - Phil and Paul are sooo terrible. Their failure to recognise/mention Kristoff (olympic bronze medallist) until about the fifth replay after the finish was appalling. Might try Eurosport today - is it Quigley though? That's arguably worse...
Kirby the best of a bad lot for me...
The Eurosport highlights programme yesterday was truly awful, I watched it back to back with the ITV coverage and it failed to convey any aspect of the racing until the finish line
Ha ha ha
TdF ruined.
I'll be honest I like Carlton and Brian , it beats listening to Sean Kelly with his monotone and what seems in intent to pronounce people's names how he thinks they should be .....hell even the other half who hates watching the cycling can't stand Sean Kelly
You lot are never happy. Whether it is Sean Kelly for being too Irish, Phil Liggett for not being anti-Armstrong enough or Hugh Porter for being too old.
Rob Hayles might be insightful but his voice is so boring
I just wait for the day David Millar retires and takes up commentary. He may be a cheating posh boy but he was great on the Olympics BBC coverage.
TMS is the essence of how to make hours of not much happening into something that's incredibly fun to listen to. Cycling could learn a lot from it. I know Eurosport's budgets aren't huge, but a few commentators on rotation would be amazing.
I quite like Kirby, he sounds like a jovial cove.
It must be difficult to fill 4/5 hours with incisive commentary, especially on the flat stages where we know there will be a breakaway that will be reeled in shortly before the finish and then a sprint that Cav will win.
Anyone listening to Test Match Special a couple of Saturdays ago will have heard an illustration of how difficult commentating can be when the experienced broadcaster and cricket lover Michael Palin made a painful and inept attempt to describe just 1 over.
Totally agree, he's a fine soul. Heard him today say "The time is counting down second by second......could it be any other way I hear you ask" -
It just shows how vastly peoples views vary about the same sport. I like Kirby, dont know why.
Now Mr Smith who was on with him is a different matter. I would gladly pour vinegar in my eyes than listen to him.
+1
I'd rather listen to Matt Keenan than a number of other commentators, thats for sure. At least he recognises and calls the riders accurately
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