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Videos: Anti-bike-theft ejector seat & anti-zombie bike

ETA insurance reckon they've got you covered against everything...

Having your bike stolen is a anywhere between a damned inconvenience and the heart-breaking loss of an old friend. Bike insurance firm the Environmental Transport Association (ETA) reckons it has a solution: the anti-thief ejector seat.

Powered by compressed air, the ETA's ejector saddle is punched 2 metres into the air if not first disarmed by the bike’s owner.

An ETA spokesperson said: “Whether it’s fully-comp insurance or a piece of tech, our aim is to keep cyclists one step ahead of thieves.”

If this looks a bit familiar, it seems to be the same bike the ETA rolled out a couple of years ago in response to Aston Martins's One-77 bike.

That bike, which you can see in the video below has a few other handy features for urban warriors, including a rear track for traction on all surfaces and a flamethrower to repel close passes. Nobody likes to waste a good idea, so we're pretty sure the ETA ran it out in 2010 too.

Being caught in a zombie apocalypse is less of a concern for most cyclists, but just in case having your brains eaten by the walking dead is keeping you awake at night, ETA has got you covered there too.

Their zombie-proof bike boasts a chainsaw out front for lopping lumps off reanimated corpses and a flamethrower for setting their mummified flesh aflame. Another flamethrower? We're detecting a pattern here.

John has been writing about bikes and cycling for over 30 years since discovering that people were mug enough to pay him for it rather than expecting him to do an honest day's work.

He was heavily involved in the mountain bike boom of the late 1980s as a racer, team manager and race promoter, and that led to writing for Mountain Biking UK magazine shortly after its inception. He got the gig by phoning up the editor and telling him the magazine was rubbish and he could do better. Rather than telling him to get lost, MBUK editor Tym Manley called John’s bluff and the rest is history.

Since then he has worked on MTB Pro magazine and was editor of Maximum Mountain Bike and Australian Mountain Bike magazines, before switching to the web in 2000 to work for Along with founder Tony Farrelly, John was on the launch team for and subsequently became editor in chief of Future Publishing’s group of cycling magazines and websites, including Cycling Plus, MBUK, What Mountain Bike and Procycling.

John has also written for Cyclist magazine, edited the BikeMagic website and was founding editor of before handing over to someone far more representative of the site's main audience.

He joined in 2013. He lives in Cambridge where the lack of hills is more than made up for by the headwinds.

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Municipal Waste | 9 years ago

I'd like to see a bayonet that fires through the saddle and into a thief's anus, should someone steal my bike.

Das | 9 years ago

and a flamethrower to repel close passes

 41 Yes please!!!!  4

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