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Aussie police hunt ‘poo cyclist’ who took a dump in Melbourne driveway (+ video)

She took the expression ‘Leaving it all out on the road’ a bit too literally

Police in Melbourne are hunting for a ‘poo cyclist’ who was filmed taking a dump in the driveway of a house in one of the city’s most affluent suburbs – perhaps taking the expression ‘Leaving it out on the road’ a bit too literally.

Footage of the dirty deed, taking from a CCTV camera at the property in Brighton that served as an impromptu public convenience was shared to Reddit.

It showed the woman, wearing a blue cycle helmet, quickly whip down her leggings, do her business, then casually stroll out of the property, stopping briefly outside presumably to retrieve her bike.

“That’s disgusting and also impressive,” said one Reddit user, comparing the speed of the pit stop with that of a Formula 1 crew changing tyres mid-race.

Another said: “No magazines, no phone? I didn’t even know that was possible.”

According to a report on, al fresco defecation is a bit of an issue in Melbourne and elsewhere in Australia, with ‘poo joggers’ often singled out as the culprits.

Suspicions that the offender is a turd category racer riding a Scatt or possibly a Merda bike have yet to be confirmed.

Simon has been news editor at since 2009, reporting on 10 editions and counting of pro cycling’s biggest races such as the Tour de France, stories on issues including infrastructure and campaigning, and interviewing some of the biggest names in cycling. A law and languages graduate, published translator and former retail analyst, his background has proved invaluable in reporting on issues as diverse as cycling-related court cases, anti-doping investigations, and the bike industry. He splits his time between London and Cambridge, and loves taking his miniature schnauzer Elodie on adventures in the basket of her Elephant Bike.

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