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Bizarre anti-cycling column by schoolchild bemoans “plagues of two-wheeled vermin” on Box Hill, making them late for music lessons; “I quit”: Visma’s crazy “AI-generated” TT helmet divides cycling world; Women’s Freedom Ride + more on the live blog

Paris-Nice is underway, Sean Kelly is back on comms, and everything is right with the world. Oh, and Ryan Mallon’s back with more cycling news and views on the Monday live blog
Mon, Mar 04, 2024 10:04
50

SUMMARY

Bizarre anti-cycling column by schoolchild bemoans “plagues of two-wheeled vermin” on Box Hill, making them late for music lessons; “I quit”: Visma’s crazy “AI-generated” TT helmet divides cycling world; Women’s Freedom Ride + more on the live blogbox hill 2.PNG
04 March 2024, 09:08
Climbing Box Hill (CC-BY-2.0 Sizbut-Flickr).jpg
Bizarre ‘Young Reporter’ anti-cycling opinion piece by schoolkid bemoans “plagues of two-wheeled vermin” on Box Hill, making them late for music lessons – and claims torrential rain is “silver lining” to global warming because it frees up road for drivers

Here on the live blog, we’re well used to all manner of anti-cycling opinion pieces by now.

You know the ones I’m talking about. The cliché-ridden diatribes about “Lycra-clad” menaces who “think they own the roads”, often prefaced with the obligatory ‘I ride a bike but…’ introductions, spewed out by grizzled, worn-down hacks, searching for some tiny scrap of relevance in a changing media landscape (and often found in the Spectator).

Or the cartoonish, pro-motoring, outrageous opinions about the “cycling Stasi”, expressed to a column deadline, every week, for money, by over-the-top, un-human caricatures (Hi, Jezza).

Jeremy Clarkson Sun column

> Jeremy Clarkson "anti-cycling" column "peddles hate for easy money"... but does anyone actually care any more?

Or maybe it’s the faux-edgy anti-cycling rhetoric you’re after, grasped clumsily in the dark by super-cool ex-GB News producers like Charlotte Gill?

Yes, we’ve seen them all. Or so we thought.

Because, in yesterday’s ‘Young Reporter’ section of local news site This is Local London, where it appears schoolchildren have the opportunity to hone their journalistic credentials, emerged one of their more bizarre anti-cycling rants we’ve seen published in recent times…

All because the cyclists who frequent Surrey’s famous Box Hill made the kid late for a music lesson, apparently.

ride london box hill.jpg

“Anyone that lives in Dorking is probably familiar with the swarms of road cyclists in the area around Box Hill, converging around the National Trust Cafe, a conveniently located purveyor of cake and expensive coffee, right at the top of Zig Zag Road,” the student begins, warming us up nicely for what’s to come (Jake Wallis Simons would be proud).

The budding ‘young reporter’ continues:

For anyone not aware of Zig Zag Road, it is a zigzagging road up Box Hill that is essential for anyone who wants to reach the other side of Box Hill without having to go on a 5-mile diversion.

Unfortunately, it is also the favoured habitat of the rural road cyclist, due to several factors, such as: it has numerous switchbacks; a near constant gradient, the road is smooth, it has nice views, and it is very difficult for cars to pass. In fact, it has been voted the nicest climb in the world on the app Strava, beating routes made famous on the Tour de France such as the Alpe d’Huez. The infamous local road has been tackled by 103,268 cyclists, a total of 773,437 times as recorded by Strava.

And as you can imagine, the plagues of two-wheeled vermin make it an exercise in frustration to even attempt to drive up, especially at the weekends.

Charming (but at least it’s well written, I suppose).

It gets better, though. So, what does our young journo reckon is the ‘silver lining’ to the increasing threat of climate change, partially caused by the fumes of motorists clogging up our roads? Err, torrential rain, which causes cyclists to stay at home and frees up Box Hill for people in cars.

Box Hill

That view would be much better if there were heaps of cars…

“However, our salvation is upon us!” the young reporter exclaims. “We have recently been experiencing the torrential rain that heralds the arrival of spring, acerbated [I assume they mean ‘exacerbated’?] by extreme weather patterns associated with global warming. 

“For a brief window, the roads are free of this cycling menace! Few cyclists dare set out in this weather in their aerodynamic, but not warming, lycra.

“In conclusion, in finding a tiny, ephemeral silver lining to the dark clouds of global warming, this morning it was safe to use this convenient road as it was intended, once more: to drive up it and I am happy to announce we arrived on time for my music lesson.”

Blimey. Well, at least we know they’re starting them young, anyway. What next, AI? Probably best not to go there…

04 March 2024, 11:46
Visma-Lease a Bike Giro TT helmet 2024
“Can someone tell me this is real and not AI-generated?” Has cycling finally jumped the aero shark? Visma-Lease a Bike and Giro unveil crazy, protruding time trial helmet at Tirreno-Adriatico

So, it turns out that the recent trend for increasingly bonkers, space-age, and aesthetically naff time trial helmets – the POC Tempor and its wings, Kask’s ski goggle visor, Specialized’s 1960s sci-fi attempt complete with Samir Nasri-inspired snood, and Uno-X and Sweet Protection’s mega flared bumblebee look from last year – were all merely stepping stones along the garish aero river that leads directly to today.

Because, ahead of today’s opening 10km time trial Tirreno-Adriatico, Visma-Lease a Bike’s Jonas Vingegaard and co set out for a recon of the course in Lido di Camaiore… wearing what can only be described as the maddest TT helmet you’re ever likely to see.

Cycling, eh? Bloody hell.

Giro’s new “innovative” design (Visma’s words, not mine) certainly mimics the trend for increasingly spherical, bulging aero shapes – though I have to say the massive sky-wards point at the front is a new one for me.

It’s so mad, our own Jo Burt couldn’t quite believe his eyes.

“Can someone tell me this is real and not AI-generated?” Jo asked in our tech group chat, echoing the general opinion around the cycling world at this latest affront to Coppi-esque style and restraint (though on the other hand, the 1980s also happened in cycling, an often confusing mash-up between the cool and the crazy. Which is why we love it, I suppose).

Other pros, however, such as Bora sprinter Sam Welsford, aren’t as diplomatic as I am:

No pressure on Vingegaard to win today wearing that, eh?

04 March 2024, 17:06
The forensic analysis you’ve all been waiting for: We dissect THAT helmet design… and ask: Is it a step too far?
04 March 2024, 16:53
And the winner of Visma-Lease a Bike helmet meme of the day goes to… Visma-Lease a Bike rider Attila Valter
Attila Valter Visma helmet meme (Instagram)

Fair play Attila – because if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.

Though this one’s not bad either:

Alright, that’s the last of the helmet jokes, I promise (for today’s blog, anyway)…

04 March 2024, 16:59
More updates from hookless rimgate (there’s bound to be a catchier name than that, surely?)
Thomas De Gendt's Zipp wheel after UAE Tour crash (Discovery+)

> “Our systems are proven safe”: Zipp joins hookless rim discussion — as photo appears to show Lotto Dstny rider suffer issue at Strade Bianche

04 March 2024, 16:39
Arvid de Kleijn takes biggest win of his career in explosive and ferocious finale to sleepy Paris-Nice stage

It was one of those days at Paris-Nice – a race that can explode into life at any moment – characterised by tension, nervy moments, and the occasional crash, rather than any real racing action, as the peloton proceeded to slowly trundle along, almost entirely intact, for most of the 178km between Thoiry and Montargis, a soporific situation aided by the lack of wind that usually wreaks havoc on the bunch during these early, exposed stages south.

Until the last two kilometres that is.

Helped by the tranquillity of the rest of the stage, the finale was a fast and frantic one, full of panicked, late surges, and shoulder barges, and concluding with a breakthrough win both for Arvid de Kleijn (who powered impressively to the first WorldTour win of his career) and his Tudor Pro Cycling team, who broke their duck for 2024 at one of the sport’s biggest races.

Behind a roaring De Kleijn, Groupama-FDJ’s Laurence Pithie upgraded his third from yesterday to second today, a result that proved enough to move him into the yellow jersey, another remarkable milestone for the 21-year-old Kiwi in what is proving to be a dream second season in the WorldTour.

And with a team time trial tomorrow around Auxerre, the presence of Visma-Lease a Bike’s new helmets – all lined up in a row like a weird fever dream – will at least give us something to talk about for most of the day…

04 March 2024, 15:42
Bessemer Primary School Street (credit: Alice Bing)
Sustrans’ Big Walk and Wheel celebrates 15 years – and 23.9 million miles of active travel journeys to school

Active travel charity Sustrans is celebrating the 15th anniversary of its Big Walk and Wheel, the UK’s biggest inter-school walking and cycling challenge.

First established in 2009, this year’s challenge will start next Monday and run to 22 March, encouraging children to walk, cycle, wheel, and scoot to primary and secondary school, improving air quality around schools and saving money for parents.

Since 2011, when data was first collected on the challenge, 23.9 million miles have been travelled by pupils as part of over 15.9 million active travel journeys to school – amounting to, as Sustrans notes, 200 active travel trips to the moon, or over 1,900 journeys around the Earth.

By reducing car journeys to and from school by 31.7 million, Sustrans add, 12,700 tonnes of CO2 were stopped from polluting the air on the school run during the challenge’s run.

Open to all primary and secondary schools, the Big Walk and Wheel has been estimated to save parents £1.6 million in fuel costs during its two weeks.

tfl child and parent cycling to school - via tfl

“I am proud that together with thousands of partnering schools, and millions of parents and children across the UK we are able to celebrate 15 years of the Sustrans Big Walk and Wheel,” Sustrans CEO Xavier Brice says.

“People want to have a choice in how they travel, and 15 years of the Big Walk and Wheel shows that when people are given the opportunity to travel actively – they will take it. Sustrans will continue to work in partnership with others to ensure that every generation of children can choose to have fun walking, wheeling, and cycling to school.”

“The Sustrans Walk and Wheel challenge gives kids and their parents a reason to try travelling differently, to get to school under their own steam and in doing so, they get a taste of what a healthier and greener future can be like,” Active Travel Commissioner Chris Boardman adds.

“In fact, it's proved so popular for thousands of communities, it continues to go from strength to strength. We want to make it more than an annual event, we want this to become a normal part of every school day for millions, and by the looks of it, so do the kids.”

04 March 2024, 15:10
George Square fan zone, Glasgow, 2023 world men's elite road race championships (Thomas Maheux/SWpix.com)
Man avoids jail after swearing at stewards and headbutting police officer during “shocking” incident at Glasgow world championships

A 30-year-old who lashed out at a police officer after shouting at stewards working at August’s world cycling championships in Glasgow has been ordered to complete 180 hours of unpaid work.

Kyle Thompson headbutted an officer during an altercation in the city’s George Square on 6 August 2023, the night of the men’s road race won by Mathieu van der Poel, the Glasgow Times reports.

The former sales manager had been reported by stewards at the security entrance point to George Square, where the podium and other worlds-related stalls and activities were set up for the duration of the championships, after he shouted and swore at them.

After being approached by police, Thompson told them to “f*** off, you corrupt c***s” and “get to f*** or I will kill you”.

He was then placed under arrest, prompting him to shout: “Get your hands off me you c***s, I have done f*** all.”

Thompson was then restrained on the ground by officers, where he began to throw his head forward on several occasions, connecting with one officer.

He pleaded guilty this week to assaulting the officer and behaving in a threatening or abusive manner.

Thomas Gallagher, defending, told the court: “I am embarrassed on behalf of my client. His actions on that day were shocking.

“This was a serving police officer during an international event. He expresses his regret.”

Sentencing Thompson to 180 hours of unpaid work, while also placing him under supervision and ordering him to attend alcohol counselling for 12 months, Sheriff Mark McGuire told the father-of-one: “This was an appalling piece of behaviour. Your conduct took place in the middle of a national and international event which could have sparked serious disorder.

“I take on board that I am sentencing you on what you have done. Don’t engage in this type of conduct again – take it from me you will be going to prison.”

04 March 2024, 14:45
Juan Ayuso pips Filippo Ganna by one second to win opening Tirreno-Adriatico time trial – as Visma-Lease a Bike, Jonas Vingegaard, and their crazy helmets forced to settle for ninth

On a stage dominated by the internet frenzy surrounding Visma-Lease a Bike’s, errr, daring new helmet design, two riders not resembling characters from a low-budget 1960s sci-fi film fought it out for the win, as early starter Juan Ayuso pipped Filippo Ganna – who has made time trialling in Italy in March his speciality in recent years – by just one second to take the opening 10km time trial at Tirreno-Adriatico in Lido di Camaiore.

Behind the front two, Israel-Premier Tech’s British sprinter Ethan Vernon missed out on a podium place by a solitary second to Jonathan Milan, while the best-placed representative of Visma’s mad helmet brigade, Jonas Vingegaard, managed ninth, 22 seconds down on race leader Ayuso, a welcome boost for the UAE Team Emirates prospect ahead of the anticipated GC battle later in the week.

And considering Vingegaard was the only Visma-Lease a Bike rider who made it into the top 20 during today’s stage, it’s safe to say that Giro’s debut advertisement for their “innovative” new design could have gone better…

04 March 2024, 14:22
Visma’s ugly TT helmets: Thomas De Gendt speaks out

Hard to argue with that… 

04 March 2024, 14:22
Drum and Bass on the Bike hits Southampton, as 2,000 cyclists join DJ Dom Whiting

Everyone’s favourite pedalling drum and bass DJ (okay, the only one) Dom Whiting made his first appearance of the year in Southampton yesterday, attracting 2,000 music fans who cycled and wheeled their way through the city in the usual blur of colour and noise.

“It’s been four months since I’ve been on the bike,” Whiting told the crowd. “I’ve had a nice break and it’s given me time to think about what I want to do this year.

“It’s quite time-consuming but I love doing it, it’s amazing.”

04 March 2024, 13:14
This is Local London’s anti-cycling ‘Young Reporter’ unmasked (not really)

Great detective work here from Eddy, who swiftly worked out the identity of this morning’s anti-cycling columnist in the making:

Ah, it all makes perfect sense now…

04 March 2024, 13:01
Jonas Vingegaard tests out mad new time trial helmet… with decidedly average results

Alright, alright, the roads were quite damp, and a pan-flat, coastal 10km time trial isn’t exactly his forte, but Jonas Vingegaard’s debut in Giro’s wild, aesthetically offensive time trial helmet was… okay.

The two-time Tour de France winner is currently sitting in fifth on the provisional classification of today’s opening Tirreno Adriatico stage  – with the likes of Filippo Ganna still to come – and 22 seconds down on GC rival Juan Ayuso, who was sporting what now seems like a very old-school TT lid.

Along with the so-far average results, Giro’s new “innovative” look is continuing to churn out the jokesters on social media:

Meanwhile, our YouTube supremo and tech nerd Jamie tells me one of his friends got in touch to say: “Might as well just allow bikes with fairings at this point, instead of letting the rider become the fairing.”

Now there’s an idea…

04 March 2024, 12:28
Irish Transport Minister demands safer “cycling culture” that respects pedestrians and the law

Cyclists in Ireland have reported being left “disappointed” by Green Party leader and Minister for Transport Eamon Ryan’s comments about bicycle riders apparently putting pedestrians in danger and lacking respect for the law, after Ryan claimed that it is “very much incumbent on the cycling community to create a culture and an attitude” that respects pedestrians and the law and is “enforced”.

Cyclist in Dublin (image by Alexander Parsalidis via Flickr, CC BY-SA 2.0)

Read more: > Irish Transport Minister demands safer “cycling culture” that respects pedestrians and the law

04 March 2024, 11:22
We’re all Ned this year…

‘Remember, Ned, it’s Visma-Lease a Bike, Leeeaaaase a Bike, Lease a Bike…

‘Now, there’s Matteo Jorgenson, attacking for Jumbo-Visma – D’oh!’

Although, considering he hopped straight from the UK Open darts to commentate on Paris-Nice, I’m just surprised Mr Boulting didn’t get Remco Evenepoel and Dimitri Van den Bergh mixed up, or confuse Laurence Pithie with Luke Littler…

04 March 2024, 10:59
Women’s Freedom Ride: Over 800 cyclists take to the roads of central London to call for safer infrastructure and streets for women

Flags were waving, tunes were pumping, and the vibes were good yesterday on the streets of London, as over 800 cyclists rode through the centre of the capital during the five-mile-long Women’s Freedom Ride.

Organised by the London Cycling Campaign and the Women’s Network, the ride follows on from January’s survey of over 1,000 women who cycle in London, which laid bare the extent of the abuse faced by female cyclists and the need for safer routes and infrastructure that prioritises women.

> “We’ve learnt to normalise rubbish behaviour”: What stops women cycling? Abuse, intimidation, and how to make cycling safe for everyone

As well as having a great time riding in a massive bunch through London, the Freedom Ride also saw campaigners hand a petition boasting over 5,000 signatures to Will Norman, the capital’s walking and cycling commissioner, demanding “physical safety” (so “proper” protected cycling infrastructure), “social safety” (no unlit routes and good policing), and “local routes” that think beyond the commute and incorporate the daily habits of women who cycle.

So all in all, not a bad way to spend a Sunday in London.

04 March 2024, 10:44
Why phones should be banned at bike races, example 37: The worst finishing shot in cycling history?

Hear me out. Phones – at least in their photo-taking function – should be banned from all professional bike races (or any kind of sporting or music event, where the beauty of the pursuit can be most surely found through your own eyes, and not via the screen hastily placed in front of you, and blocking the views of those behind).

> Selfie-taking spectator causes huge crash at Tour de France

Because not only do they cause crashes – thanks to ‘fans’ being more eager to insert themselves into the day than watching the race itself – they also can ruin a rider’s moment of glory, as we saw on Saturday when Lotte Kopecky crossed the line in beautiful, historic Siena, resplendent in her mud-splattered rainbow jersey… only to be completely obscured by the ghastly sight of a phone, a naff folding cover, and two TV producer-infuriating hands:

Lotte Kopecky's winning Strade Bianche shot ruined by phone (Discovery+)

***Screams in Luddite***

Alright, off my soapbox, I go. But if you think I’m annoyed about this, imagine what Kopecky’s family at home felt like.

Maybe I should start a petition…

04 March 2024, 10:05
Tadej Pogačar wins 2024 Strade Bianche (Zac Williams/SWpix.com)
Weekend round-up: Pog’s Strade Bianche demolition reaction, how to board a ferry as a cyclist, big Mike takes over the remains of Wiggle, and lots more…

It was a busy ol’ weekend across the cycling world (and I should know, I was working it).

And while Opening Weekend usually heralds the start of the road season proper (for the stuck-in-our-ways traditionalists like myself, anyway), it really doesn’t get much better than a cold, wet March double bill of Strade Bianche and the opening stage of Paris-Nice, the greatest race of them all (opinions may vary).

While Remco Evenepoel looked hungry, Egan Bernal looked sharp, and Olav Kooij looked fast in the suburbs of Paris on a murky start to the Race to the Sun, over in Tuscany, one big question floated across the vineyards and gravel tracks on Saturday evening: How do you solve a problem like SD Worx and Tadej Pogačar?

Both demonstrated their bewildering dominance at Strade Bianche in different ways. Despite what Lidl-Trek and Elisa Longo Borghini could throw at them, SD Worx’s bewilderingly strong grip on Strade Bianche remained intact, as world champion Lotte Kopecky saw off the Italian champ on that iconic climb into Siena for her second win in three years at the Tuscan classic, and her Dutch team’s fourth – yes, fourth – Strade victory in a row.

The last rider to beat SD Worx at Strade Bianche? Annemiek van Vleuten, way back in the Covid-affected 2020 season.

Tadej Pogačar wins 2024 Strade Bianche (Zac Williams/SWpix.com)

> “I’ve never seen something like this”: Is Tadej Pogačar’s “bonkers” 81km solo Strade Bianche victory modern cycling’s greatest ride?

And speaking of baffling displays of dominance, enough ink has been spilled over the weekend concerning Tadej Pogačar’s easy Saturday morning coffee ride/greatest solo victory of the 21st century (though as I mentioned in my report, AVV might have something to say about that particular assertion).

With Pog’s rivals now alerted to the level they’ll have to reach ahead of the classics, Giro, and the Tour, I thought I’d leave the last word to Tom Pidcock, who summed the whole thing up rather eloquently: “What the f***?”

> “What the f***?” Tom Pidcock stunned and Mathieu van der Poel “scared” after Tadej Pogačar left “dead bodies everywhere” with stunning Strade Bianche attack

Away from the racing, we spoke to a cyclist at the centre of a storm concerning what she believes is the “pure discrimination against cyclists” perpetrated by ferry companies, after she was refused entry to a Pembroke-Rosslare crossing because she was on a bike (and one without a motor) or in a car.

Cyclist refused entry to ferry after booking as a motorbike (Elaine Baker)

> Cyclist slams “pure discrimination against people on bikes” after being refused entry to ferry and left stranded – despite paying for motorcycle ticket

Meanwhile, the inevitable was all but confirmed yesterday, as Mike Ashley’s Frasers Group appears set to buy the remains of what was WiggleCRC, in a move that will surely delight bike-riding Newcastle United fans everywhere.

> Mike Ashley’s Frasers Group reportedly buys Wiggle Chain Reaction Cycles for less than £10 million

Also, fines and bans were handed out to drunk (and “blind”) cyclists and recklessly undertaking motorists, while ‘Shedgates’ could also soon become confined to the road.cc archives, thanks to new government plans to relax planning laws for bike storage facilities in front gardens. A certain Dublin ex-cyclist will hope Leo Varadkar is reading…

Government consultation on bike sheds

> Are bike shed planning sagas set to become a thing of the past? Government proposes to relax planning laws to allow bike storage units in front gardens

> “Panicked” motorist who mounted grass verge to undertake cyclist banned from driving for 12 months

> Blind cyclist fined for riding bike on dual carriageway while “extremely” intoxicated – months after crashing into car while cycling drunk

> Dial closure bottle cages? Plus Vittoria’s new ‘Gatorskin killer’ tyres for the toughest conditions, Shimano’s special new shoes, Finish Line’s faff-free hot wax system + more

Ryan Mallon

After obtaining a PhD, lecturing, and hosting a history podcast at Queen’s University Belfast, Ryan joined road.cc in December 2021 and since then has kept the site’s readers and listeners informed and enthralled (well at least occasionally) on news, the live blog, and the road.cc Podcast. After boarding a wrong bus at the world championships and ruining a good pair of jeans at the cyclocross, he now serves as road.cc’s senior news writer. Before his foray into cycling journalism, he wallowed in the equally pitiless world of academia, where he wrote a book about Victorian politics and droned on about cycling and bikes to classes of bored students (while taking every chance he could get to talk about cycling in print or on the radio). He can be found riding his bike very slowly around the narrow, scenic country lanes of Co. Down.

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50 comments

Avatar
mattw | 9 months ago
1 like

I'm not sure about Charlotte C Gill being "cool".

She comes across as the meeting point of two planks.

Avatar
Paul J | 9 months ago
0 likes

I've been looking at that newspaper page photo for dozens of minutes of now, but I still can't see anything about cyclists. I think I'll have to keep looking at it.

Avatar
don simon fbpe | 9 months ago
1 like

Well, Wilfred, do you win or lose at soggy biscuit?

Avatar
john_smith | 9 months ago
14 likes

Am I the only reader who finds the use of "vermin" to describe other human beings a little bit worrying? That's the kind of language the nazis used to describe people they subsequently sent to death camps.

Avatar
dubwise replied to john_smith | 9 months ago
6 likes

Don't forget the Israelis, that's how they refer to others.

Avatar
john_smith replied to dubwise | 9 months ago
2 likes

I haven't forgotten "the Israelis". And it's not how "they" refer to "others".

Avatar
Rome73 replied to john_smith | 9 months ago
0 likes

https://www.middleeastmonitor.com/20240225-actress-dehumanises-palestini...

Avatar
the little onion replied to dubwise | 9 months ago
1 like

dubwise wrote:

Don't forget the Israelis, that's how they refer to others.

 

Israeli "government", thank you very much! Not all Israelis!

Avatar
JohnP_SM7 replied to john_smith | 9 months ago
9 likes

I read this kid's rant earlier today and found it to be utterly bizarre,  insulting, and mostly fact-free.  

But I guess I'm probably part of the "problem" - I live fairly locally to the hill and cycled up it for my 72nd time on Saturday.  As is often the case I saw very few other cyclists on the hill,  and hardly any cars.  One car did pass me three times,  but only because its driver kept stopping (on the wrong side of the road) mid-way up to look at the view.  He clearly had no difficulty passing me afterwards each time,  though he did himself cause a bit of a holdup to a car coming down the hill whose path he'd blocked while he admired the view.

Methinks this kid is trying to win the Boris Johnson "make up your own facts" Award for Journalism...

Avatar
Oldfatgit | 9 months ago
7 likes

For those of us not in the know ... is there *actually* a music teacher at the top of Box Hill - or even anywhere *on* Box Hill?

Avatar
dubwise replied to Oldfatgit | 9 months ago
0 likes

Is it a hill?

Avatar
john_smith replied to dubwise | 9 months ago
3 likes

It's more a hill than a box, at any rate.

Avatar
Rendel Harris | 9 months ago
9 likes

Surely that column must have been written by Martin73's daughter, who, as we all remember, would have been denied the services of "Kent's best cello teacher" if daddy didn't have a motor?

Avatar
levestane | 9 months ago
8 likes

Make the helmet bigger and put the whole bike in it, maybe it's already been done...

Avatar
chrisonabike replied to levestane | 9 months ago
11 likes

Probably needs more chinstrap and expanded foam, but here you go...

Avatar
eburtthebike | 9 months ago
11 likes

Given their lack of actual facts, bias and faux passion, I think it's safe to say that the Young Reporter has set their sights on a career with the Daily Mail.

Avatar
lesterama replied to eburtthebike | 9 months ago
5 likes

Nah, Spectator, with his ostentatious style

Avatar
Matthew Acton-Varian | 9 months ago
3 likes

Fairplay to the Giro designers who have inadvertently created a beautiful sarcastic clap back that will shut up the "D*ckhead Cyclists" drivers.

Avatar
HoarseMann | 9 months ago
6 likes

Good old local news. Saw this in a recent local publication, pavement cycling being casually equated with a knife attack! Quite funny really, especially as I'm not aware there's ever been a knife attack in this quiet town (plenty of pavement cycling though, due to a lack of cycling infrastructure and dodgy drivers)...

Avatar
quiff replied to HoarseMann | 9 months ago
6 likes

Ah, the good old days - when you had to work more than full-time to earn a decent wage. (Not sure much has actually changed there, but I love how they have romanticised it).

Avatar
Rendel Harris replied to HoarseMann | 9 months ago
3 likes

Does one only have to be wary of uninsured electric bike and scooter riders? Does it hurt less if one gets hit by an uninsured one?

Love an 84-year-old telling us "although times were hard" as if they lived through the Great Depression - their working life would have spanned roughly 1960-2000, a period which, although it had a few bumps in the road, was overall just about the most prosperous in history.

Avatar
mctrials23 | 9 months ago
12 likes

Such eloquence from someone so young. Ignoring that though its a great insight into the mind of drivers and non-cyclists. They cannot fathom that what cyclist want and what they want are just as valuable. They wanted to get to their music lesson (which is obviously vitally important) and the cyclists wanted to do their hobby. They don't whinge and write opinion pieces when it takes them 1 hour to go 10 miles anywhere built up due to traffic. Thats perfectly OK because all the other people in the cars are obviously going about their very important business just like them. Certainly not travelling for leisure persuits...like those lycra clad louts. 

Avatar
MattKelland replied to mctrials23 | 9 months ago
12 likes

It just seems like they're quoting their parents' moans verbatim. I hope little Wilfred learns to think for himself one day.

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belugabob replied to MattKelland | 9 months ago
12 likes

I suspect that mummy did their homework for them.

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wycombewheeler | 9 months ago
8 likes

Kid knows his bike facts. He's probably just being anti to increase his chances of a career in journlism, so he can bring the system down from within.

Avatar
tigersnapper replied to wycombewheeler | 9 months ago
2 likes

I thought that about the quoted facts as I read it.  He'll never be a journalist - looking up facts and quoting them, or are they just made up like a real journo would do?

Avatar
Matthew Acton-Varian replied to tigersnapper | 9 months ago
2 likes

The remit of a Journalist now is to go on Twitter (X) and copy-paste some rando's opinion from a related hashtag. I doubt anyone who works at a major National news publication has any knowledge of how to conduct proper and throrugh research and investigation.

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chrisonabike replied to Matthew Acton-Varian | 9 months ago
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That was a year or so back.  Now - "journalist" can also mean "I provide the picture and name (for now...) which goes next to AI-generated copy" surely?

I imagine we're already working on having the sources being generated and installed if they don't exist and the algorithms feel the original text needs them!  (Poor Nigel will be out of business on Wikipedia soon...)

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Hirsute | 9 months ago
4 likes

Great stuff guys

Bogbrush

 

To any new folk - trying to explain the comments - well, you had to have been there !

 

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Kapelmuur | 9 months ago
4 likes

Anyone using the word 'purveyor' and/or 'emporium' immediately outs themselves as pompous twats.

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